Today we have a special guest blogger, mom and sign language interpreter, Emily Huffman. This is from her perspective as a full-time mom taking care of a houseful of young ones.
Please be careful if you are experiencing food insecurity not to project onto your children. My parents and family always made sure we had food, but there were times when budgets were tight or through the nature of living in a rural area, groceries were not quickly and easily available. I’m not dissing my family and obviously we were fed… but I did have issues as a kid hiding food away as well as being a young adult with roommates and in early relationships as a result of being concerned that there wasn’t enough. Sometimes I would panic or lose my mind with anger when something I had planned to eat was eaten by someone else… even when I had the means and ability to get more whenever I liked. I also became and still am, a bit of a “food hoarder”…as soon as our cupboards are half full, I experience anxiety. When I have something I like to eat I have to tell myself that it WILL BE OKAY if I don’t eat it all immediately, even if someone else does- and this has led to battles with my weight.
During this unprecedented time some people may be experiencing food insecurity as a brand new experience and worrying if the groceries will last longer than the month, that can be stressful at the least. If we project this onto our children we can set them up for weight problems, food hoarding issues (which can lead to wastefulness), anxiety, anger, and fear.
Instead of forcing kids to eat the full meal because it feels like it is necessary, consider letting them eat until they are full and practice the idea of saving your leftovers to eat for the next meal. Also, while it is good to discourage wastefulness in general, hold your temper in check if they do a ‘kid thing’ like licking the peanut butter off the toast and throwing the bread away.
If something is finished don’t ask why they finished it all so quickly and bemoan in front of them how to get more.. instead try saying “Wow, you must have really liked that. It will be a while before we can go to the store so you’ll have to have this instead the next time you are hungry.”
If you’ve made a meal and they don’t like it or refuse to eat it, even if it is the only meal available to them, calmly explain that this is what is available right now and they can eat it or be excused. They will come back to it if they are hungry enough… avoid phrases like “there’s nothing else” and please don’t accuse them of being ungrateful. As adults we have the option to refuse food all the time, consider that they may not be that hungry and let it slide.
Above all, speak to your children truthfully but with compassion for their feelings. Keep in mind that your anxiety or temper may feel like the end of the world to a child.
If you are running low of food and money. SEEK OUT ASSISTANCE. Ask for help from friends and family, check out the numerous local churches and food banks offering free groceries, apply for food stamps. There is no shame or stigma here.
Written by Emily Huffman, AS
