If all we did was look as similarities and differences without judgement, comparing would not be so bad. Most of us, myself included, are guilty of seeing how others are different and wanting what they have. A small amount of this can encourage ambition. Too much can lead to jealousy and resentment. As with most things in life, moderation is key.
The way I see it is if we constantly compare ourselves to others, we will most often fail. Common comparisons include parenting, lifestyles, careers, education, recreational activities and perceived financial status. Social media has not helped in these comparisons because most people boast about the good things in their lives or even use their online presence as a facade to cover the adversity in their life.
Provided you are in a slightly better place in life than you were a week, a month, a year, or 10 years ago, then comparing your present to your past may be beneficial.
In my case, 10 years ago I was a timid 19 year old tired of going to college, completely broke, bored, just got dumped and was looking for an adventure. With encouragement from my family, I joined the Navy. Now I have completed college, established a career, started a business, and just bought a new house with my fiancé. I have a choice to identify and appreciate my success or compare myself to others and yearn for the lives of those who seem to be where they are “supposed” to be when about to turn 30 years old. Many of my friends have school aged children, or higher education than I do, or jump out of airplanes for fun. Below are helpful and unhelpful thoughts of comparison.
Unhealthy: “Yah I have a career and stuff, but uggghhhh, I should be married with two kids by now, wtf is wrong with me?!”
Healthy: “I have come a long way and fought hard for what I have today. I am grateful to be where I am.”
Luckily my brain jumps to the healthier option more often than not. For many people, it takes work to retrain the brain to choose the healthier and more helpful option. Some discouraged souls do not even acknowledge the impact their mindset can make and simply go through life miserable and wanting what everyone else has and blaming everything outside of themselves for their misfortune. Yes, outside circumstances and affect our lives tremendously and lead to setbacks. BUT how you handle those roadblocks is what defines you.
A final example: A widowed mother of 4 children without any financial stability can choose to live with barely enough food to feed the family, never accepting help out of pride. Or she can work with what she has, accept the generosity of those willing to help out and make the best life she can for herself and children.
Comment below with your thoughts on comparing.
