I ask people in my office if they talk to themselves. People sometimes sit back and wonder if it is a trick question…am I crazy if I tell her yes? Am I supposed to or not supposed to talk to myself? When I get a yes, I say good! It is important to talk to ourselves. How we talk to ourselves is crucial to maintaining our sanity. One of the first steps in therapy is recognizing how you talk to yourself and if it is nice or not so nice.
Rolling out of the bed in the morning, do your thoughts go something like this?
“Ugh, I wish it was the weekend already”
“I hope Sarah doesn’t throw a fit this morning, she should be used to going to school by now.”
“I just want to stay in bed but I have to go to work or I’ll get fired.”
“Okay, get my ass up.”
If any of these sound familiar or if your thoughts follow the same general theme as above, you are engaging in negative self-talk. While you cannot necessarily control what pops into your head, you can always control your reaction to your thoughts. Here are some helpful thoughts go get you out of bed with a more positive mindset.
“I am looking forward to this weekend, I get to [insert activity here]”
“Sarah might be a handful but I know she will be okay once she gets to school.”
“I am grateful I get to go to work, I know the economy is making it hard for a lot of people to get a job.”
“Time to get up, I got this, I can handle whatever comes today because I am in control of me.”
Remembering to say positive things in the moment can be extremely difficult. A good tool to try is making notecards or post its with helpful thoughts. These can be positioned around the house so you see them frequently. Most people head for the restroom first thing in the morning. It may sound silly, but a couple of post its around the mirror can change your mindset for the day.
So if negative thoughts pop into your head automatically try telling yourself “Stop” and then replace the thought with a more helpful one. We do not talk to others meanly and we deserve to be treated with respect, especially by our own mind.
