If I don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen and if it didn’t happen I cannot feel the pain.

Sound familiar? This twisted logic when someone wants to heal can lead to conflicting internal dialogue. “I want to be happy” and “I don’t want to feel bad” are not possible to sustain. With the delights of life we must also experience the pain. A movie I enjoy is Inside Out, which is a children’s movie that illustrates the importance of the full range of emotions. Sadness is equally important as joy. 

Grief is an example of a frequently avoided emotional experience. Many have heard the components of grief include denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. These are much more jumbled and complex than they sound. Grief does not go in order, grief is a process of healing, leading to being at peace with the new reality of your life. It is a necessary process with any loss including death of a loved one, pet, divorce, dysfunctional parents, and other losses.

Many people want to “get over it” and move on with their lives. This is when grief is a volcano and every emotion thrown down makes it closer and closer to exploding. Feeling our emotions is the only way to accept the new reality and continue our lives in a healthy way.

Untwist your thinking by allowing uncomfortable emotions to be felt, thought about, and experienced. Comment below with examples of unpleasant emotions.