Taking things personally means perceiving something to be an insult or that someone doesn’t like you. Sometimes a comment or criticism is intended to be a personal attack. Other times, well actually most of the time, we simply perceive something as being negative when the intent was either neutral or even positive.

Pick a statement or situation that you frequently take personally. Now, I want you to examine the reality of it. Here are a few questions to ask yourself to determine whether not to take it personally. How something is meant and how we take it or not necessarily the same.

1. Is this actually a personal attack or just my perception?
2. Am I jumping to a conclusion without any evidence?

If being personally attacked then we have a choice: react or respond. Reactive people often reply to actual or perceived slights with their emotional mind. When we use our rational mind to help make a wise decision, the situation is likely to go in our favor.

Next time you feel insulted, take a step back and really examine the situation. This can be done quickly, simply take a deep breath and in that breath ask the questions above. If you notice after the fact that you reacted with only your emotional mind, an apology may be in order.

Let go of that pride, choose your words carefully and as always, say what you mean and mean what you say because “those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter” (Dr Seuss).