The following is a brief autobiographical narrative by a guest blogger, Paula Venegas, a mother that was misdiagnosed and put through the severely dysfunctional medical system with all sorts of people trying to “help” while simultaneously harming. It brings some comfort to me to know she now has the correct diagnosis and hopefully a helpful treatment team who doesn’t just have clinical knowledge but the empathy and vulnerability needed to help this family thrive. This is Paula’s story:

As a child, I always knew I was different, but the diagnosis I received at age 11 didn’t fit. Borderline Personality Disorder, no that’s not me. The description of this disorder didn’t sound like anything I was feeling or going through, but nobody seemed to care. I was subsequently prescribed heavy adult doses of SSRI’s such as, Effexor XR, Cymbalta, Prozac, Abilify, Trazadone, Seroquel, Ativan, Thorazine and a few others I can’t recall. I was also forcibly committed to multiple mental health facilities at the hands of my parents, under the advisement of my Therapists and psychiatrists at the time. Everything I experienced as a misdiagnosed Autistic child made me into the mother and advocate I am today.
I found out I was pregnant with my first child at age 18. I was so nervous yet so excited. I have always loved children and felt a very strong connection to every child I ever encountered, especially children with different abilities. I decided with a lot of urging by my husband, and OB to stop my medicine during my pregnancy. My husband, who insisted I never needed the meds to begin with, had to watch me experience the worst withdrawal symptoms I’ve ever had, and I’m 2 years sober from Heroin. Please believe me when I tell you, psychological medications were so much harder to come off. The chemical makeup of my brain had not been self making melatonin and other important things since I was a child. The only thing that helped me even be able to function was cannabis.
I started using Cannabis at age 12 when my older brother let me hit his bong one November night. I have never been so high. It was only reggie brick weed and nothing like we can get medically today. I’m a second generation Canna mom, as my mom did smoke cannabis my whole life, and during pregnancy with me. Cannabis has always been apart of my mental health regimen but had never had the chance to help me regulate myself without big pharma. When I was finally able to see the results of solely using cannabis I never went back to taking any type of psych medication ever again. I also vowed to never give my kids prescribed medication unless an absolute emergency or they were old enough to ask for it.
When Maxwell was born he literally became my whole life, and I honestly never saw anything odd in his behavior. Other than the fact that he was non speaking, and Male, he is my carbon copy personality. We have a lot of the same issues and the only difference is I was taught to mask my feelings and just “deal with it”, while I taught my children to always be their authentic self no matter what. They know they can express any feelings to me and not be judged or mocked for them. Maxwell was diagnosed with Autism at age 5. Right when I found out I was pregnant.
Thaxter was born and it seemed like instantly my whole world turned upside down. Not only did he never sleep regularly but I was also dealing with a fresh Autism diagnosis with Maxwell and started feeling the pain from my Lupus, and Uterine Cancer very hard as well as several other personal events in my life that caused me severe PTSD. I was subsequently put on pain medication which turned into a full blown addiction by the time Thaxter was diagnosed with non-verbal Autism at age 3. I was so overwhelmed and I was still undiagnosed trying to mask myself every moment of every single day. I guess that’s another reason why I turned to opiates, it made it so much easier to hide my true self.
Maxwell and Thaxter both are Autistic but are both so different yet so similar. It really is the biggest spectrum but I know my children and I can tell exactly what they need. Maxwell also developed Agoraphobia with puberty, and no longer leaves our home unless medicated. Thax developed very violent self-harming meltdowns where he would, punch, bite, stab, and scratch himself or bang his head up against hard surfaces multiple times a day. Thax and Max both also share a Sensory Processing Disorder DX. Maxwell feels most comfortable in a solid black sweatpants and black tshirt and has 10 sets of the same outfit. Thax only wears clothes outside of home and prefers to be nude at home. We let our
children be whoever they want to be and make sure they are comfortable in our home because the world is already rough enough. I have stuck to my promise and never given my kids big pharma even though we have been offered everything under the sun for both our boys. We have even had schools telling us it was necessary but only you as a parent and your child themselves know what is necessary.
When 788 passed into law in Oklahoma, it changed my WHOLE LIFE. My husband and I had been selling reggie weed for years and we were excited to get our medical cards as soon as we could, we also had both decided to get sober from opiates. After we received our patient cards I set out to find out how to get my child a card and realized how really nobody was talking about minor cards anywhere. Finally I had a friend who was a budtender send me a link to a doctor who did Pediatric recommendations. I found out everything I needed to do and I started saving my money. It took 6 months to save the money for Thaxter’s card but in the meantime we were medicating him illegally and it was giving us MIRACULOUS results. Not only was he calmer, better able to focus, eating better, sleeping at night, not hurting himself, he was also speaking. Communicating things to us that he had never said before. After we got Thaxter’s card I started my blog page Autism and Cannabis on Facebook, just to put our story out there and give other parents access to information. I also started saving for Max’s card. I had such a huge response to my page so I started helping moms in other medical states find out the steps they needed to take to get a Pediatric medical cannabis card for their child and I also started collecting donations and helping other low income families like mine, get free Pediatric cards for free. I have successfully helped over 85 kids receive free cards in the last 12 months and hope to help as many as I possibly can. My husband and I have filed for our official non profit and the sky is the limit to helping any child we can. I really cannot describe how much my childhood shaped me into the women and mother I am today.
I received my Dx of Autism in 2020. It made everything clear. I understood every feeling I ever had that I couldn’t understand at that time. It made my life path and goal so very clear and put a whole new meaning to my life. I no longer mask. I no longer choose to hide my authentic self. I no longer put myself last, and I no longer question the decisions I make for myself or my family. I found my voice and truly the reason I was out on this Earth…..to advocate for my kids and kids like them so they wont have to endure the childhood I did. Thank you so much for listening to my story. Have a very blessed Autism Acceptance Day.