Ordinary misery is something Freud defined as a regular part of a the human condition. Since even before psychology was an official concept, humans have tried to understand the tragedy of a broken heart. Shakespeare went so far as to depict two in love that could not live without one another. Similar stories of elderly dying on the same day as their spouse have been told. Romantic relationships are a key component to the human existence and can be a wonderful way to share your life with another person.

A study done by Rhoades (et al.) in 2011 followed surveyed over 400 people and found “more psychological distress and lower life satisfaction following a break-up compared to when they remained in the same relationship.” The study also determined the more intertwined a couples’ life is, the more distress they will have should the relationship end. The most important finding in my opinion was the result that the quality of the relationship was found to affect life satisfaction following a break up.

The best predictors for whether a decline in mental health will occur following a break up is largely based on the individual’s preexisting conditions as well as their attachment to their partner. For individuals preparing to spend the rest of their lives with someone, it is important to make sure there are healthy boundaries and good communication. This will reduce the possibility of divorce and reduce the number of heartbroken individuals in our community. I encourage all engaged couples to seek counsel, either from their ministry or local clinician, to make sure the major issues are discussed prior to marriage.