Culturally, humans have always formed groups or tribes, not just to function but also for that sense of community. Some may define themselves as “loners,” but even the odd or eccentric find like minded people to integrate into their community. Family and friends are an essential part of our lives and making time for them can sometimes feel impossible. Other times it may feel as though we never get a moment to ourselves. Finding a balance can be tricky but doable.

Benefits of making time for others:

• More energy – If you’ve ever tried to work out alone, most of us get discouraged or start glancing at how well others in the gym are doing. By gathering with at least one other person, maybe more, your energy level increases and generates motivation not otherwise there.
• Feelings of connectedness – Being with others gives us things to focus on and the ability to collaborate. Isolation can lead to focusing on the negatives in life and discounting all the good things going on around us.
• Learning new things – Everyone has their own experiences and knowledge. By getting together, we can share these things and we all grow and learn.

Dangers of giving too much of our time:

• Co-dependence – This is excessive reliance on another, which can look like sweet clingyness until it becomes apparent one cannot live without the other. This is not healthy. Romantic or platonic, lives should be shared with one another, not dependent on another.
• Overextending yourself – Financially or emotionally this can become unbearable. We want to see our friends and family doing well, but if we never say no to those phone calls and requests, we can be stretched so thin there’s nothing left. Be careful saying yes to everything and maintain good boundaries by saying no when you can’t/don’t want to do something.
• Believing lies and giving too many chances – Ever meet that person who promises “next time will be different”? Then their behavior never appears to change. Resentments can build if we continue to enable others or allow them to take advantage of our good intentions. Some call it tough love, I call it self-care. Say no even when it’s heart wrenching but you know it’s the right thing.

Enjoy your time with family and friends, because it is important. In 1943, Abraham Maslow presented a hierarchy of needs regarding human motivation. He illustrated with a cool pyramid how once our very basic needs of food, shelter, safety is met, that we then consider finding love and belonging. It has since been theorized that the five aspects of his pyramid are not linear, but the basic sentiments of needs remain.