Tag Archives: family

May!!!

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This month is Mental Health Awareness Month. Small Steps. Big Impact.

Read more: May!!!

Some days may be more difficult than others. All you can do is make the next best choice. Whatever that is for you. I think we all do the best that we can with the information we have at the time. Sometimes that means only being able to do the bare minimum on activities of daily living and that is okay. In fact, it is okay to not be okay sometimes! I know, shocking right, in a society where one may be expected to work 40+ hours, be present with family, engage in social events, fitness, and keeping the body nourished all without slowing down. Breathe.

Overwhelm can be described as trying to spin too many plates on sticks at once. This month, if overwhelm creeps up, or any emotion gets too intense, I highly recommend feeling it. What does that mean? Experience the sensations in the body that go along with the feeling. For example, when some folks get anxious the stomach can feel like one has butterflies or the chest can seem tight. Noticing these sensations and noticing them shift is processing. To feel it is to heal it I think someone once said. This is different than stewing. Sitting in unnecessary anger is only going to increase one’s internal distress. For anger, it is okay to avoid the person/place/thing that elicited that emotion for at least 30 minutes to reduce the intensity of the emotion before proceeding mindfully. Try not to go more than 24 hours when using avoidance skillfully as that can be a slippery slope into sweeping things under the rug (not advised).

One tip I’ve learned over the years it to picture a light, like you know how a copy machine has the light that scans the document? You can imagine a light scanning your body and you can go head to toe or toe to head, whichever you prefer. This is called a body scan. Notice the sensations and notice they will pass. Emotions are temporary. They will pass. Well, if you choose to feel it. Choose to shove it down, and it may persist for days, weeks, months or even years.

Mental health matters. You matter. Whether you believe it or not. Try taking the next small step that will make a big impact for you, whatever that it.

See below for a pdf that has a day to day by TherapyAppointment of what you can do this month to take small steps that have a big impact.

Check out my Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or where ever you listen. New content weekly.

TAMentalHealthAwarenessMonthDownload

Guilt Free Cancelling for Self-care

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Making friends with family and friends is fun and sometimes impulsive. Here’s an example:

Friend: “Hey do you want to come to a cookout next weekend?”

Response: “Sure, I wouldn’t miss it.”

Thought: ‘Oh no, I already committed to go to the movies with someone else. How can make both happen? I guess I’ll have to skip anytime I thought I would relax and I’ll just wake up extra early to get the laundry going.’ Continue reading

Making time for family/friends – – but not too much!

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Culturally, humans have always formed groups or tribes, not just to function but also for that sense of community. Some may define themselves as “loners,” but even the odd or eccentric find like minded people to integrate into their community. Family and friends are an essential part of our lives and making time for them can sometimes feel impossible. Other times it may feel as though we never get a moment to ourselves. Finding a balance can be tricky but doable.

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3 Ways Childhood Trauma Can Impact Adult Relationships

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The effects of trauma may continue into adult lives and relationships with others. Trauma survivors often have abandonment issues and do not believe anyone can really be trusted. People sometimes think of themselves as not being worthy of an intimate and compassionate relationship. These beliefs can have an impact on their adult relationships through the rest of their life. Conversely, by recognizing these cognitive distortions, healing can occur. Trauma survivors are not irreparably doomed by their past but they can be affected by their past in ways that may not be apparent. Continue reading

Three Tips: Keeping a Relationship Strong in an Untraditional Living Situation

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Whether it is a multigenerational home, a friend or other relative living in the home, many families have chosen untraditional living situations. The traditional family consists of two parents and their children. Becoming more commonplace is additional individuals in the home. The biggest factor that comes to mind for living this way is finances. Either one or both families under the same roof may benefit from additional contributions to household bills. Another reason may just be wanting to be close to loved ones you would normally see infrequently if living apart. My family is a good example, I live with my sister, her fiancé, and their son. Living with a third party may impact your relationship, but there are ways to keep your relationship thriving despite the decreased privacy and increased mouths to feed.

  1. Quality Time

    Having another person living under the same roof may mean less one on one time with your partner. It is essential to carve out time for just the two of you where you can keep the romance of your relationship strong. By romance I do not mean just in the bedroom. Going to dinner, seeing a movie, and going for a walk can all be ways to maintain romance in a relationship. The extra person in the home may even be to your benefit if you have children and they are willing to babysit while you have quality time with your partner.

  2. Appreciation

    The hustle and bustle of life can normally lead to forgetfulness in showing appreciation in any relationship. Living with another person or persons in the home can shift the focus of many families to logistics of everyday life. It is important to take the time to express to your partner that you are grateful for their acts of service, patience, and affirm your love for one another.

  3. Communication

    The ability to express your thoughts and feelings to your partner is paramount for all relationships. Communication can oftentimes make or break a relationship. Picking your battles is a common phrase used to describe little conflicts in relationships. However, letting little things pile up can lead to resentments and fuel for future arguments. A good rule of thumb in arguing is if you argue for more than ten minutes then you are no longer discussing the original issue. Remaining calm in disagreements and using “I” statements can facilitate productive conversations.