Tag Archives: relationship

Five Signs of a Codependent Relationship

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Unfortunately, ignoring your own needs devalues your own life. Think about on an airplane, when they go over safety the flight attendant makes a point that if the oxygen masks drop and you have your child with you, put your mask on first so you can help your child. Otherwise, you will run out of oxygen and risk losing yourself and your child. This is analogous with taking care of your own mental, physical, and other needs. If you cannot take care of yourself, it is more difficult to care for another. Below are 5 signs you may be in a codependent relationship. Continue reading

Anxiety & Depression in LGBT Dating

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Mental health is a factor in any relationship. To have a healthy relationship, it is important to be aware of some of the pitfalls that can occur. This post is specifically for LGBT relationships but some concepts may be applicable to any dating couple. The LGBT community faces additional hardships in relationships due to the societal implications of being open about one’s sexual orientation. A concept which one day should not matter, in today’s dating world there are things to be discussed regarding anxiety and depression within an LGBT relationship. Continue reading

3 Ways Childhood Trauma Can Impact Adult Relationships

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The effects of trauma may continue into adult lives and relationships with others. Trauma survivors often have abandonment issues and do not believe anyone can really be trusted. People sometimes think of themselves as not being worthy of an intimate and compassionate relationship. These beliefs can have an impact on their adult relationships through the rest of their life. Conversely, by recognizing these cognitive distortions, healing can occur. Trauma survivors are not irreparably doomed by their past but they can be affected by their past in ways that may not be apparent. Continue reading

Three Tips: Keeping a Relationship Strong in an Untraditional Living Situation

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Whether it is a multigenerational home, a friend or other relative living in the home, many families have chosen untraditional living situations. The traditional family consists of two parents and their children. Becoming more commonplace is additional individuals in the home. The biggest factor that comes to mind for living this way is finances. Either one or both families under the same roof may benefit from additional contributions to household bills. Another reason may just be wanting to be close to loved ones you would normally see infrequently if living apart. My family is a good example, I live with my sister, her fiancé, and their son. Living with a third party may impact your relationship, but there are ways to keep your relationship thriving despite the decreased privacy and increased mouths to feed.

  1. Quality Time

    Having another person living under the same roof may mean less one on one time with your partner. It is essential to carve out time for just the two of you where you can keep the romance of your relationship strong. By romance I do not mean just in the bedroom. Going to dinner, seeing a movie, and going for a walk can all be ways to maintain romance in a relationship. The extra person in the home may even be to your benefit if you have children and they are willing to babysit while you have quality time with your partner.

  2. Appreciation

    The hustle and bustle of life can normally lead to forgetfulness in showing appreciation in any relationship. Living with another person or persons in the home can shift the focus of many families to logistics of everyday life. It is important to take the time to express to your partner that you are grateful for their acts of service, patience, and affirm your love for one another.

  3. Communication

    The ability to express your thoughts and feelings to your partner is paramount for all relationships. Communication can oftentimes make or break a relationship. Picking your battles is a common phrase used to describe little conflicts in relationships. However, letting little things pile up can lead to resentments and fuel for future arguments. A good rule of thumb in arguing is if you argue for more than ten minutes then you are no longer discussing the original issue. Remaining calm in disagreements and using “I” statements can facilitate productive conversations.

Pre-martial and newlywed Counseling

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Too many individuals in our society are giving up on their relationships leading to a 50% divorce rate.

One common reason for divorce includes “irreconcilable differences.” Unless the other person is putting you or your loved ones in danger, then I bet those differences can be resolved. Whether people getting married are experiencing puppy love or companion love can make or break a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, puppy love can be so much fun and great way to start of a new bond,  but DO NOT get married during this time. Make sure you truly know the person you will be sharing the rest of your life with.

A few topics people fail to discuss prior to marriage include child rearing, relocating, career goals, retirement goals, finances, and deal breakers.

By making sure your relationship has empathy, unconditional love, and commitment, you will ensure a successful life long marriage.

Are you divorced? Comment with what you wish you knew about your partner before tying the knot.