May!!!

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This month is Mental Health Awareness Month. Small Steps. Big Impact.

Read more: May!!!

Some days may be more difficult than others. All you can do is make the next best choice. Whatever that is for you. I think we all do the best that we can with the information we have at the time. Sometimes that means only being able to do the bare minimum on activities of daily living and that is okay. In fact, it is okay to not be okay sometimes! I know, shocking right, in a society where one may be expected to work 40+ hours, be present with family, engage in social events, fitness, and keeping the body nourished all without slowing down. Breathe.

Overwhelm can be described as trying to spin too many plates on sticks at once. This month, if overwhelm creeps up, or any emotion gets too intense, I highly recommend feeling it. What does that mean? Experience the sensations in the body that go along with the feeling. For example, when some folks get anxious the stomach can feel like one has butterflies or the chest can seem tight. Noticing these sensations and noticing them shift is processing. To feel it is to heal it I think someone once said. This is different than stewing. Sitting in unnecessary anger is only going to increase one’s internal distress. For anger, it is okay to avoid the person/place/thing that elicited that emotion for at least 30 minutes to reduce the intensity of the emotion before proceeding mindfully. Try not to go more than 24 hours when using avoidance skillfully as that can be a slippery slope into sweeping things under the rug (not advised).

One tip I’ve learned over the years it to picture a light, like you know how a copy machine has the light that scans the document? You can imagine a light scanning your body and you can go head to toe or toe to head, whichever you prefer. This is called a body scan. Notice the sensations and notice they will pass. Emotions are temporary. They will pass. Well, if you choose to feel it. Choose to shove it down, and it may persist for days, weeks, months or even years.

Mental health matters. You matter. Whether you believe it or not. Try taking the next small step that will make a big impact for you, whatever that it.

See below for a pdf that has a day to day by TherapyAppointment of what you can do this month to take small steps that have a big impact.

Check out my Podcast on YouTubeSpotify, or where ever you listen. New content weekly.

Three Relaxation Techniques That Can Smooth a Transition in Life

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It is your first day at your new job. You walk in and get introduced to everyone in the office, knowing you will not remember their names. The boss shows you to your work area and you see the plain, empty desk ready to be piled with mountains of work. Within the first week you are already swamped and worried about asking too many questions. You begin to question your fitness for this job. Maybe even start questioning your chosen career field. Continue reading

Professional, Communal, & Internet Dual Relationships Defined

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Professional dual relationships consist of a clinician and client are both mental health professionals and become professional colleagues either at a college, training institution, co-authoring a book, attending the same workshop, or any other situation where a the client and clinician would be considered professional colleagues. This is an important consideration when taking into account that although one may live in a metropolitan area, small communities do develop within those areas and the mental health field can sometimes feel like a small world. Communal relationships can occur for similar reasons at the professional dual relationships, birds of a feather flock together. Clinicians and consumers of similar faiths may attend the same religious institution, members of the LGBT community may run into each other at the Equality Center, or any other small community within a larger community. The internet relationship is likely the most self explanatory. Basically this means any interactions that occur online. In the ever growing world of technology, online relationships are becoming more and more prevalent in the form of emails, social media, and other professional sites such as Psychology Today. A person may find a clinician that appears beneficial on Psychology Today, click on their website and find links to Facebook or email distribution sign ups. An inadvertent way a client may initiate an online relationship is if they are already seeing you and decide to research your name. A current client may find your blog, website, or LinkedIn profile simply by typing your name into a search engine and send a request to connect.

Dual Relationships in Counseling

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There are variations on dual relationships that can occur between counselors and consumers. The gray area is often called boundary crossings rather than boundary violations. The code of ethics a counselor follows acknowledges dual relationships can be mutually beneficial or harmful. A harmless interaction may occur in a small town where your kids go to the same school and you run into each other at pick up time. A clearly harmful dual relationship is a sexual relationship between a clinician and client. A good rule of thumb to live by before entering any ethical dual relationship is to proceed with caution, consult others, and review ethical guidelines. Always make sure informed consent is also reviewed prior to a change in the therapeutic relationship. For example, if a client invites you to see them perform in a play, is it okay to go? The answer is yes, buuuut, you must be clear on boundaries with the consumer. You are not attending as a friend and therefore should not engage in any violations of previously set boundaries, more specifically, it is not okay to carpool to the event or to go out for drinks afterwards. The types of dual relationships include social, professional, treatment-professional, business, communal, institutional, forensic, supervisory, sexual, internet, and the very rare adoption. Many dual relationships are easily avoidable and even easier to avoid in large metropolitan areas. The three we will focus on are professional, communal, and on the internet. In the next few posts, they will be defined, then guidelines for ethical dual relationships will be addressed, and finally a case example will be presented and ethical considerations are up for discussion.

Pre-martial and newlywed Counseling

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Too many individuals in our society are giving up on their relationships leading to a 50% divorce rate.

One common reason for divorce includes “irreconcilable differences.” Unless the other person is putting you or your loved ones in danger, then I bet those differences can be resolved. Whether people getting married are experiencing puppy love or companion love can make or break a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, puppy love can be so much fun and great way to start of a new bond,  but DO NOT get married during this time. Make sure you truly know the person you will be sharing the rest of your life with.

A few topics people fail to discuss prior to marriage include child rearing, relocating, career goals, retirement goals, finances, and deal breakers.

By making sure your relationship has empathy, unconditional love, and commitment, you will ensure a successful life long marriage.

Are you divorced? Comment with what you wish you knew about your partner before tying the knot.

Debunking Myths in Private Practice

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Are you one of the thousands of counselors who dream of a private practice but do not believe it can be done? The next couple of posts will take a look at the reality behind some common misconceptions about being your own boss and being responsible for making your own money.

 

Myth 1: You have to have a two income household to start a private practice.

 

This is inaccurate because with one income you can support your family. With one private practice income you can break even with your current income within the first few months. The myth is a fear based idea that comes from living paycheck to paycheck. To stop living in this short term almost crisis state, I recommend following Dave Ramsey’s baby step three of saving three to six months of income. This way, regardless of the profit or loss your practice initially brings, your income can remain stable for several months. The self-discipline it takes to stop eating out, stop buying useless items, and realizing what are luxuries that can be sacrificed is essential to challenging this myth.

 

Myth 2: Only counselors without kids can take the risk of being on their own.

 

Taking the time to plan and truly organize your time is a skill that many forget to utilize after college. Counselors are all capable of time management or they would not have received a masters degree. Many successful practitioners began growing their business in conjunction with growing their families. You do not have to take my word for it, just look at the podcast and video bloggers that share how they were able to balance their work and home lives.

 

Myth 3: I need the benefits that I can only get working for an agency.

 

Many myths begin with a grain of truth, and the truth in this myth is that health benefits are less expensive when working for an agency. However, that decrease cost in benefits comes at such a significant salary cut it does not make financial sense in the long run. The IRS offers tax deductions for employers providing health insurance for their employees. The irs.gov website details qualifications for deductions, but in short, as an employee of even a sole proprietorship you can provide health insurance and other benefits for your one employee. This takes research, several phone calls for confusing information the internet may provide from inaccurate sources, and determination that your practice is a full time career. If you are transitioning mid-calendar year and have already met your deductible, I recommend using COBRA. If you have never heard of COBRA, google it!!!

If you are a clinician or an aspiring counselor looking for a consultation, contact me today. (918) 732-9730

Gambling Disorder Symptoms and Treatment

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Gambling is not a new concept, playing a game for money or betting on an outcome that is not guaranteed to end in your favor has been around for ages. The act of gambling predates recorded history as well as modern currency. The first indication that a game resembling gambling existed was in the Old Stone Age, in France, where flat round pebbles painted on each side were probably flipped for heads or tails (Schleifer & Temple, 2009). The idea of it becoming a problem is not new either, a 19th century author states, “gambling vitiates the imagination, corrupts the tastes, destroys the industry,” dramatically emphasizing the destruction that can occur through addictive gambling (Beecher, 1896). Pathological gambling was officially considered mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association when it was added to the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders 3rd Edition in 1980 (Lindeman, 2004). Pathological gambling was originally categorized as an Impulse Control Disorder and was given the same vague definition as the other disorders involving impulsivity, which was characterized by an irresistible impulse to perform harmful acts (Lindeman, 2004). Since then, it has evolved into what the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.) refers to as Gambling Disorder.

The key differences between a gambling addiction and regular gambling are the intensity and persistence that it affects an individual. Regular gambling is intended to be light hearted fun regardless of the outcomes. Responsible gambling can be practiced by only betting what you can afford to lose. Unfortunately, many get caught up in the moment and end up spending more than intended and then feel guilty. That scenario is relatively normal provided the person does not make it a repetitive behavior to the point of indigence. Most people gamble in social situations, which lasts for a limited period of time and people accept their losses. Professional gamblers are different from social and unhealthy gambling in that they have minimal risks and high levels of self-discipline.

In the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th ed., text rev.), the diagnosis of Pathological Gambling was defined as “persistent and recurrent maladaptive gambling behavior as indicated by five (or more) of” ten different symptoms. The symptoms for Gambling Disorder are similar to the previous diagnosis, Pathological Gambling, except they are rearranged in the DSM-V (2013) 5th ed., reduced to four or more of the symptoms, and specificity of the severity is included.

Gambling Disorder is categorized under substance related and addictive disorders, and in a subcategory of non-substance-related disorders. A person may have a Gambling Disorder if they are needing to gamble with increasing amounts of money in order to achieve the excitement they desire, restlessness or irritability when attempts to reduce or stop gambling are made, repetitive unsuccessful attempts to reduce, control, or quit gambling, and preoccupation thinking about gambling (APA, 2013). Additional symptoms include gambling when feeling distressed, after gambling and losing, lying to hide how much they gamble, jeopardizing or losing significant relationships, jobs, educational, or career opportunities, and relying on others to give them money in desperate financial situations that were created from gambling. To be diagnosed with Gambling Disorder, the person much have clinically significant impairment or distress as demonstrated by the aforementioned symptoms. Additionally, the gambling behavior cannot be better explained by a manic episode. The DSM-V (2013) 5th ed. notes that there are some other behavioral conditions are similar to substance related disorders, but gambling remains the only one with sufficient data to include in the section of addictive disorders (APA, 2013).

The specifiers of gambling disorder determine the severity of the individual’s condition based on how man of the criterion are met. If four or five of the previously listed symptoms are met, then the condition is considered mild, six or seven is moderate severity, and if eight or nine of the criteria are met then the person has a severe Gambling Disorder. The diagnostic features associated with gambling can manifest differently in various cultures and individuals. While it is perfectly normal in some cultures to gamble on games and events, some people take it to an unhealthy level. A cyclical and unrealistic pattern of attempting to chase losses and abandoning all strategy may emerge. People with a gambling disorder may lie to the people in their life, including therapists, family, and close friends to hide how involved they are with gambling. It is also possible that one might commit various crimes to obtain money with which to gamble, including but not limited to embezzlement, forgery, theft, or fraud. Associated features supporting a diagnosis of Gambling Disorder include distorted thinking, impulsivity, excessive energy, competitiveness, restlessness, depression, feelings of helplessness or loneliness, and up to half of people in treatment for gambling have suicidal ideations (APA, 2013).

There are various types of treatment options for all of the different substance-related and addictive disorders, some include religious programs, total institutional facilities, and various modalities of therapy. The recommended course of treatment for gambling depends highly on the individual and the comorbidity of other conditions. The following is an example of a person with Gambling Disorder and a treatment plan for the specific situation, utilizing cognitive behavioral therapy.

Dominique, a 21 year old male, sought counseling for gambling after three years attending school at Bum Fuck University (BFU). During the initial intake, Dominique outlined his background and presenting problems. Dominique was raised in a two parent home, and often witnessed his parents being physically violent with each other, when they were not drinking or partying. Dominique said it was not abnormal because they never hit him and they were actually ‘cool’ parents because they let him take beer in his room and play in an online casino. He stated they encouraged him to go to college and would not allow him to return home on vacations, claiming he needed his independence. As an alternative, Dominique began driving the four hours to New Orleans and gambling during the breaks from school. He made several friends that would allow him to stay weekends and holidays near the casinos. Despite not stating it as an immediate issue, Dominique illustrated how he was depressed whenever he was not in New Orleans. He explained that when he first made trips to gamble, he just used the money left over from student loans. In the last two years, Dominique’s gambling increased to the extent that he maxed out five credit cards and used all of his student loans, including book money on gambling. This year, Dominique has missed several classes because he was either in New Orleans or sleeping off the long nights. He stated that his school friends did not like him missing classes and tried to convince him to stop. Dominique revealed that he used play flag football with a group of friends two or three times a week. However, recently he has not had any desire to join them. Dominique admitted to losing several friends after lying about his gambling, claiming that he had stopped, begging them for money, and then spending it all in New Orleans. Dominique reported he really did try to stop a few times, but each time ultimately decided that it was better for his mental health if he continued. He illustrated that without the rush he gets from gambling, he often feels empty and hopeless. However, this year the feelings of worthlessness increased so much that when he did attend class, Dominique explained he had trouble concentrating and would rather be in bed hiding from the world. His primary reason for attending therapy is that his friends forced him because they do not love him. Dominique believes that if his parents, friends, or cousins loved him, they would give him money. He explained his attendance in therapy is only to satisfy his friends in order for them to give him money. Dominique also explained that he often thinks of death as an effort to escape the world, which was another factor that led his friends to ‘force’ him to attend therapy. Dominique stated he did not have a specific plan to commit suicide, only that the idea of death seems like a peaceful alternative to life.

The differential diagnosis for Dominique is 312.31 Gambling Disorder, 296.23 Major Depressive Disorder, and the World Health Organization Disability Assessment Schedule (WHODAS) was not administered. The development and course of his Gambling Disorder took place over several years. Dominique began gambling online as a teenager, and abusing alcohol at a young age. This behavior aggregated with his depression, which has worsened throughout his college years. Dominique reported feeling intensely sad at various times throughout his past, but gambling always made him feel better. The diagnostic criterion met to diagnose Dominique with Gambling Disorder included needing to gamble with increasing amounts of money, repeated unsuccessful attempts to stop gambling, gambling when he felt depressed, relying on others to provide money with which to gamble, and lying to hide how much he gambles. All of these culminated to the point of Dominique’s gambling behavior causing significant impairment and distress. Dominique also met the criteria for a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder because he exhibited depressed mood nearly every day, markedly diminished interest in activities he used to enjoy, hypersomnia, feelings of worthlessness, and recurrent thoughts of death. The determination not to administer the WHODAS was made based on previous scholastic performance and no apparent disability in psychological functioning.

The treatment plan developed for Dominique is based on the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy modality. Treatment goals:

Dominque will attend classes regularly and complete course assignments.

Dominique will identify, value, and state his feelings, thoughts, and wants.

Dominique will learn coping mechanisms for stressors and depressive symptoms.

Dominique will identify triggers for gambling and develop realistic alternatives.

Therapy should consist of approximately 6 to 12 sessions over 3 to 5 months. In the second session, Dominique agreed to the treatment plan and was willing to resume attending classes at BFU. The first goal in the course of treatment for Dominique is first behavioral activation, agreeing to attend his courses meant that he would not be leaving for New Orleans during the week. The second goal for Dominique will include learning to identify the automatic thoughts that he has when he wants to gamble as well as throughout the course of his days. This goal will be met when he has consistently demonstrated recognition of his thoughts, feelings, and wants. Dominique’s third goal will be achieved by learning and implementing healthy coping mechanisms for daily stressors and depressive symptoms. Dominique’s fourth goal will be reached when gambling no longer causes him clinically significant distress. This will be accomplished through a collaborative effort of identifying instances, or triggers, that make the urge to gamble stronger and countering those impulses with realistic alternatives.

If you or a loved one suffer from gambling addiction contact me today. (918) 732-9730

History of Homosexuality

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b69ee09f94402ef9b7612db225c4cab6The book, Homosexuality and Civilization, is an in-depth look at homosexuality throughout various cultures and countries in history.  Early Greece was rife with allusions to same sex encounters, most famous being the Illiad, which used the term paiderastia, meaning boy love; additionally, many works of art, war, and literature contained references to same-sex attractions.  Around the same timeframe, not too far away, the authors of Leviticus, a book in the Old Testament of the Bible, would make history calling same-sex affairs an “abomination” and that they should be killed (Crompton, 2003).  The most common reasoning for the anti-homosexual mandate in Leviticus is the concern for procreation at the time.  Not as austere as Palestine, but not as drastic as Greece, the Romans maintained a position in which they recognized same sex attraction but did not see it as the deepest personal connection between two people.  

The Romans did not consider same-sex relationships particularly beneficial or detrimental.  When Christianity began to be prevalent, the Gospels of the Bible refrained from mentioning anything about same-sex relationships and various theories as to why include speculation that Jesus himself may have been attracted  to males (Crompton, 2003).  Garnering ample knowledge of the history of same sex relationships is important to consider in understanding how America developed into the homophobic society we know it as today.  Even individuals who are GLB are often ashamed of mannerisms that may out them.  GAT looks at society and takes note of important historical events that help shape our communities.  Only by learning and understanding the mistakes of the past can people be expected to make progress and GAT can be utilized to help not just GLB individuals but all LGBTQI people.

 Crompton (2003) investigates the lack of evidence behind the myth that Rome and Greece somehow failed as societies because same-sex relationships were tolerated and in some cases celebrated.  In the medieval world an interesting clash of values and art was produced.  Churchmen would write erotic poetry and then call it satire in order to disassociate themselves.  Analysis of poetry, art, and literature of Imperial China has shown an openness to sexuality rejected by the Western part of the world.  Same sex relationships were accepted and would continue to be for twenty-four centuries.  Unlike Greek ideas of noble and manly same-sex relationships, the Chinese saw male and male relationships as delicate and elegant.  The longest stretch of tolerance in human history occurred with the Chinese, until Communism replaced earlier values.  Although there is no official law prohibiting same-sex relationships, men are arrested under vague charges.  Historical attitudes towards homosexuals in Italy, Spain, France, England, and Japan are also discussed by Crompton (2003).  World views are extremely important to consider in multicultural counseling.  Together with Gay Affirmative Therapy(GAT), Multicultural Counseling (MCT) can be effectively utilized to further develop cohesiveness and growth in the therapeutic relationship.  GAT counseling should follow similar guidelines as MCT in reference to cross-cultural sensitivity and awareness.  For instance, a gay male from a strict Vietnamese upbringing would have different concerns to work through than a gay male from California.  In GAT a clinician is considerate of the multifaceted dimensions of the individual and exploration of one’s place in society.  Personally, I take an eclectic view of counseling and incorporate a modality that is best for the person sitting across from me.

More than just therapy

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​As a new entrepreneur, I was prepared to wear the many hats of owning my own business. Today I submitted a proposal that will expand my services from just therapy, to include other mental health professionals. I submitted a workshop for ethics to the licensing board. Their website says to allow “adequate time for processing,” which is a polite way of saying no to bug them constantly. I think three months in advance is a good amount of time. 
If approved in the next month or two that will allow plenty of time for marketing. This is another area that I am learning to be familiar with. I mostly use social media, but I have also been trying to meet as many professionals in person as I can to get my name out there. Yesterday I attended a new business workshop for FREE and later this month there is a networking mixer I plan to attend.

It just takes a few Google searches to find amazing networking opportunities in my area. To anyone starting their own private practice, don’t underestimate the power of word of mouth.

Other avenues I use for marketing is contacting doctors, spas, and other businesses that can send referrals.

Comment if you have any additional ideas for marketing without being annoying.